What level of etiquette do you want to use in addressing your wedding invitations?
There are three groups you could fit into based on invitations I’ve seen.
1. The Free Spirit – unencumbered by the word “etiquette” at all. In this case feel free to address the envelope (if you even use an envelope) however you’d like: Mom and Dad, Judy and John, Auntie Maggie and Uncle Dave the sky is the limit!
2. The In Between – You don’t quite want to lose all sense of etiquette but you’re not comfortable calling your girlfriend Mrs. Joseph Jones. There are many solutions for brides who feel that “proper” etiquette is old fashioned and inegalitarian. One solution is simply adding the woman’s name. Instead of Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Jones try Mr. Joseph and Mrs. Susan Jones, or Mr. and Mrs. Joseph and Susan Jones. It is still formal, but perhaps updated for a new generation who is not used to abandoning their names!
3. 100% Pure Etiquette – There are a million books recommending the proper etiquette for those who wish to go by the rules of formality. Generally in addressing a married couple it is recommended to use Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Jones.
Of course, this is only the tip of the etiquette iceberg! There are dozens of situations that you’ll doubtlessly encounter and for those I recommend a book on invitations or etiquette. Just view this information as a guideline for navigating your way diplomatically through the invitation process, you have the ability to pick and chose what you want to follow and what to leave out. See my blog on the must-have book The Wedding Invitation Handbook by Julie Holcomb for more detailed information.
